Self Acceptance
That afternoon, a notification distract me from my work, showed a question from someone, “How to embrace criticism and failure?” I took a deep breath, cause I knew this one is not a light topic, and this person deserved a big hug and explanation through a lot of discussions.
From the beginning, we are just an imperfect human being. We learn and gain knowledge that shapes us into a sharp sword, make us stronger to understand many things that happened in the world. I learn that ikhlas is not a simple task. Acceptance is sometimes difficult to implement, especially if that involves ourselves, who are seeking for the perfection in every circumstance and afraid of rejection. All of us want to be seen as a cool and flawless person.
However, none of us perfect. We all have a weakness even though some people hide that and prevent others to detect that. We tend to make a mistake which makes us feel horrible and anxious. That's why acceptance is sometimes harder to do, we don't want others to see us as a failure. We don’t want to look bad.
At this point, I understand myself. Why I'm so terrified to share my works, my own scratch, my own feelings and my own writings to another. I don't want to look bad due to my imperfect results. I hate criticism because sometimes it hurts my heart, at the same time, scared to death to find somebody points at my works and said, “It sucks!” Definitely, at that moment, I will cry in the corner quietly and prevent other to approach me.
But who we are? We are just a human being. Human judge by the result, but God judges by the process. Nobody knows what happened in your heart, except God, and He really appreciates it even the smallest process. That makes me wonder, actually, who we want to impress the most?
So I let myself to open my own box, erase the boundary to let people see who I really am. Who I wanna be, and accept myself, my own weakness, my own flaw in consciousness. Ikhlas, with my own self. One step to overcome my own afraid, face what others think about me.
Self-acceptance is hard since we don’t really know ourselves. We tend to question everything to understand who we are. But, don't worry, you have God as the greatest of the great in-universe. Don't worry because of our weakness, cause The perfect one will always stay on your side as long as you hold that faith. Cheer up and keep that smile as your proof that you believe in that.
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